i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
