Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
