we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
