is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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