Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
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I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize