my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize