i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
