you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
