my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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