The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
