Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
