I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
