What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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