it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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