Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
