he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
