I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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