Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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