Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
