why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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