on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
