i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
