why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
