Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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