So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The Olympian is in my bed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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