I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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