His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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