let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We have started to decorate penises.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
