Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize