I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
