I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
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I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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