I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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