you guys were way drunker than both of me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
