peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think my mom watched the whole time
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i think my cat just said my name.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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