He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
