Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize