Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
