you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
