help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
