Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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