Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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