two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
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My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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