I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
