Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.