We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
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Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.