just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"