Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day

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  (334): Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day http://tfl.nu/yiro
  Replies (3) Good night (1066) Bad night (668)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away

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  (330): this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away http://tfl.nu/f28q
  Replies (19) Good night (3709) Bad night (765)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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  (403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like. http://tfl.nu/sasf
  Replies (25) Good night (9231) Bad night (927)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.

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  (403): Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me. http://tfl.nu/6qnx
  Replies (23) Good night (11282) Bad night (1100)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers

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  (610): she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers http://tfl.nu/sjqg
  Replies (14) Good night (855) Bad night (4261)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me

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  (631): I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me http://tfl.nu/684j
  Replies (9) Good night (2322) Bad night (869)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....

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  (215): Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour.... http://tfl.nu/achx
  Replies (6) Good night (3873) Bad night (858)
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  (831): View more from California

  Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.

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  (831): Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success. http://tfl.nu/9nkx
  Replies (4) Good night (1413) Bad night (613)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.

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  (715): I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT. (1-715): PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING. (1-715): I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little. http://tfl.nu/04tj
  Replies (15) Good night (1960) Bad night (486)
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  (209): View more from California

  His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

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  (209): His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1314) Bad night (518)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.

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  (505): There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy. http://tfl.nu/c3w4
  Replies (6) Good night (1836) Bad night (440)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.

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  (417): Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that. http://tfl.nu/gtr5
  Replies (0) Good night (455) Bad night (228)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.

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  (816): Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard. http://tfl.nu/x9vd
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (195)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug

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  (206): I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug http://tfl.nu/jw7j
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (176)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.

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  (407): The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor. http://tfl.nu/fcy8
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (151)

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