just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.