Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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  (740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3
  Replies (13) Good night (3941) Bad night (851)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Shut up. I did not.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I really wish I was making that up.

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  (918): You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras. (1-918): Shut up. I did not. (918): I really wish I was making that up. http://tfl.nu/wbcz
  Replies (35) Good night (6795) Bad night (834)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.

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  (781): I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. http://tfl.nu/mkrc
  Replies (98) Good night (1311) Bad night (22375)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11682) Bad night (1054)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again

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  (518): i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again http://tfl.nu/g38z
  Replies (21) Good night (5782) Bad night (1298)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.

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  (613): Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say. http://tfl.nu/8sw1
  Replies (20) Good night (801) Bad night (9558)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"

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  (908): you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind" http://tfl.nu/r0zl
  Replies (4) Good night (2711) Bad night (802)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...

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  (248): im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/rj6y
  Replies (4) Good night (2459) Bad night (1140)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!

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  (617): Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood! http://tfl.nu/rv6i
  Replies (3) Good night (2065) Bad night (906)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  People are yelling about how much they want you here.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.

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  (651): People are yelling about how much they want you here. (563): I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled. http://tfl.nu/lpre
  Replies (4) Good night (2491) Bad night (756)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.

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  (248): Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/xu6p
  Replies (6) Good night (2092) Bad night (664)
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  (714): View more from California

  She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.

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  (714): She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar. http://tfl.nu/8m40
  Replies (4) Good night (1683) Bad night (650)
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  (718): View more from New York

  door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.

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  (718): door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him. http://tfl.nu/edbn
  Replies (0) Good night (981) Bad night (434)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.

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  (734): Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely. http://tfl.nu/t2kt
  Replies (10) Good night (1445) Bad night (765)
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  (415): View more from California

  The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.

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  (415): The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures. http://tfl.nu/exb9
  Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (659)

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