I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
