And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
