Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
