he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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