I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
