She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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