Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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