If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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