you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
