You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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