We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
