Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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