so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
