Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
