I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
