I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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