i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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