Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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