I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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