yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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