So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
